Little boys love gotcha's like pulling a finger, pranks and so forth like bring home a hissing roach for momma to pet. Some of we man never grow old when it comes to gotcha's but are at a disadvantage with wife's who had a brother or father with similar inclinations.
My wife let our fur children attend to last minute business before they went to bed and I was filling up water bowls in the children's kennels when I heard a scream, scampering of feet like a herd of elephants, the door slam shut and lock. My heart pounding to await my wifes beckon call which in her wife like serious voice said, “Denny there is a snake in the courtyard, come quickly.”
I thought to myself as a quick trip to the foyer, what the scooter brown am I going to do with a snake, which is like the roach incidents in which I bring back the trophy to show my screaming wife, but no such behavior with a snake, for I respect them, stay away from them and knew if they leave me alone, I promise to do the same.
So there I was at the front door all by myself thinking of what to do. I quickly thought of the horse whip which would give enough distance between me and the snake, if the creature was still in the court yard. The horse whip, a large flash light and me quietly went through the front door, close and locked it and I began to carefully prod under flower boxes, in the ferns and garden areas. Nothing! I found nothing, but left the horse whip outside because I knew what would come next.
“Denny did you find the snake,” asked my wife.
“No darling” I answered, but “I did poke all around with the horse whip.”
“Denny you are a big old fibber. You went outside with a horse whip to check for the snake?” retorted by wife.
Stunned I opened the door, retrieved the horse whip, not to the amazement of my wife who departed in a huff saying that I had better find it in the morning before she or our fur children would go into the court yard.
Being the dutiful husband I embarked on my adventure the next morning after a pot of coffee, to be sure that I was wide awake, alert and ready to spring into action with a quick retreat, should the snake be found. With the horse whip of course.
I poked around, but taking more time this round and found nothing. Then decided to make one more round of the court yard, knowing all the while my wife would not believe that I had gone to this much effort to save her from a dragon in my suit of armor and sword of Arthur atop my white steed, but I must try and try and try until the sound was heard. This sound was unlike any heard in my latter years. I froze in both time and space, my feet would not move, my heart pounded and dear reader I closed my eyes knowing that the dragons breath was upon me and shortly would be vaporized.
The second sound from only God knew what was heard in the space of an eternity, but this time I opened my eyes to see a large Cicada a few inches from my feet. My memory quickly returned to my youth having loved to hear their sounds and the thrill of excitement filling my being as I backed up and quietly went back into the house.
Within an hour my wife awoke for her morning tea and reading of the newspaper. As is our custom, she being a night person and me loving the sanctity of the early morning hours, we did not speak. I retired to answer an email from one of our daughters who would pay us a visit over the week end assure her that I had looked for the snake and could not find it. Of course her momma just had to tell on the old fool, me.
I hit the send button and then my wife asked if I had looked for the snake. I assured her that I had and it was not found.
“Well I guess you looked for the snake with the horse whip again, right?” asked my wife.
“Yes” I said “but this time I found the snake.”
“Sure you did you old fool” said my wife.
Now with that the devil told me to do something.
“Carolyn just go out the front door very carefully and do not be afraid and you will see the snake near the gate to the court yard.”
She opened the door and Kyle, one of our tri-colored Shetland Sheepdogs assumed his position on the office sofa to have a commanding look over the court yard where his momma had ventured.
Carolyn took tiny steps toward the gate, Kyle was sitting down on the sofa with his ears pricked. As she grew closer to the gate, that sound again, she screamed at let loose a string of expletives, which I have been told is a no-no many times. Kyle went into brace with all of his short hairs standing erect and my wife returned shortly to ask what was that tiny insect which made such loud and Terrie noises?
“A Cicada” I replied, “Gotcha.”
Well I have probably not heard the last word from the incident from either my wife or my girls, but there is always “the roach” show to diffuse a situation.
“So what did you do today Spook” asked Ole Sam.
“I had an excellent adventure” was my reply.
Copyright: 1986-2010